if i can run in heels then i can drive
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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