...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Actions speak louder than pants.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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