I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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