My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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