What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
