You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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