Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
