is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
