I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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