Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
