East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
