The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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