I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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