the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
