that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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