I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
honey bunches of taint.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
