So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
