Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
