..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if only i could text you this smell
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
