Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
