I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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