barbara walters just said penis...
please come you make the beer taste better
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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