shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
