If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
