Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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