They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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