just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You've changed since you got that strap on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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