They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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