i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
