i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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