Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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