I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize