Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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