You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
