Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
