The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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