yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
