This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
