Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
