ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
