im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am naked and annoyed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
