At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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