Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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