dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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