if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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