John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
