Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
