Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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