This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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