I hate your face
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
